Nine More Days

There are exactly nine more days until the class days end. Then, comes prom and finals and graduation. Like most, if not all, seniors I am very excited for these events. I must admit though that I am nervous for finals, especially since all I can think about is life after high school. I can't wait to make my own schedule- to do my own thing. Considering the fact that I am not going straight to college, I will have a lot of spare time. I will not have to try and satisfy or tolerate many of the people that I do now. After these nine days, I will be focused on my goal. I will be focused on the things and people that matter most. I smile just at the thought that everyday I am one step closer to my dream.

What Do You Have to Lose?

Final Turn

Here I am thinking that prom is going to be this amazing once in a lifetime night. But then I realize how much of my time it takes. I need THE dress, the perfect pair of shoes, my hair done, my nails done, my make up done, jewelry to match it all- there's so much to do! I can already see my mom's bank account going down and my stress level going up. Not to mention my need of passing all required courses and maintaining a social life. Graduation is just around the corner and sure it will be nice to just walk across the stage, but the diploma is the real important part. Ugh this is going to be one long final semester. At least it will all be worth it when I smile all throughout prom and graduation.

Smile, what's the use of crying?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I85ApzR43jU

I Truly Believe That...

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end."

Staten Island Ferry

The Staten Island Ferry is a great place to think. I really got to imagine myself in the Coast Guard. I can imagine training to jump off ships if necessary; training to jump out of helicopters; training to save lives. The free ferry ride is truly magnificent and no matter what's going on off the ship, I can't help but smile at the thought of a better future.

Something to Always Remember

"You can never take back yesterday but you can always change tomorrow" :-)

Not Enough

I have so many opportunities. So many things to choose from. I’m sorry if I sound ungrateful. I just can’t help thinking that I’m just not good enough. I know many people take criticisms as motivators but I can’t. I mean why bother to try if I know I will just fail? Having a dream and telling me anything is possible isn’t enough. I would love to have a rags to riches story someday but somehow I know that won’t happen. People have dreams and make them into realities. They come from nothing and make it something. All throughout they are happy; they are happy looking forward; they never stop thinking ahead and staying positive. And me, well I’ll just continue to live life pretending that all is well. Pretending that all my dreams will come true. As  for now, all I can do is smile as I write my confessions.

Family

So I’ve come to the realization that family is not as highly regarded as it once was. Before it was family above all; sadly today that is not the case. Anything and everything can come before family because “they will always be there”. This quote is true yet it leads for people to cheat, hurt, and abuse the other members of their families. I for one do not appreciate the mistreatment and therefor apologize if I find myself doing it. I approach the problem but when its brushed off it makes me not want want to be there anymore. I mean why stick around if I’m second choice? I guess all I can do is smile at the fact that I still do have my family even if they don't always treat me as I would like.

Why?

I sit and look at the world and all I can think is why? Why are things the way they are? Why are people so different? Why are the different shut out by the majority? Why do people have an innate quality to fit in? Just why. Why does a parent love their child? Why does that child love their parent? Why do we believe in love, be it the love itself or the love we give out. Why do we put ourselves out there and get hurt? Why is not trying to connect looked down upon as well? All these questions unknown along with their reason. As I lay here typing as I smile at my search for answers, all I can ask is WHY?